Christopher Livingston was born in New York in 1972 to a fabulously wealthy and well-known family who had made a fortune after coming up with the idea for those slimy globs of pork you find in cans of baked beans.  As a teenager, Christopher dropped out of high school and took over the pork-glob business, but ran it into the ground while trying to introduce the pork-glob into a number of other markets.  Pork-glob air-fresheners, pork-glob chewing gum, and pork-glob communion wafers were just a few of his failures.

The millions of dollars gone, Christopher then began his career as a professional con-man, traveling all over the country with his guitar and songbook, performing for orphans and the elderly, until someone suggested he wasn't so much a professional con-man as someone who traveled the country performing songs for orphans and the elderly.  Disillusioned, he gave up music and moved into stand-up comedy, but his off-beat antics as The Utterly Silent, Completely Stationary Comic Who Does Nothing were not well received by critics.

The arrival of the internet brought fresh hope, however, and Christopher quickly capitalized on the new phenomenon, writing his first book, entitled: Electronic Mail And Why You'll Never Need It.  He also invested heavily in  ePork-blob.com, apparently having forgotten his earlier failures.

Finally, Christopher became a temp, and the rest, as they say, is the stuff that happened after that.  He currently lives in a one-room pencil-case in the San Francisco Bay Area, acts as a staff writer for Not My Desk, and plans his next move:  developing "Take-a-twenty/Leave-a-twenty" trays for upscale convenience stores.

Find out more about Christopher by reading the interviews at these fine sites:

zompist.com / lanceandeskimo.com / drusilla.collapsar.net

Facebuilding Lady has been an integral part of Not My Desk since joining the team for Fitness Week back in October of 2000.  Her expertise in facial musculature and subcutaneous tissue has proved invaluable to the rest of the staff.  Her skin is smooth, youthful, and wrinkle-free in appearance, and if you haven't seen her musculus corrugator glabellae, then, my friend, you haven't seen any musculus corrugator glabellae.  

Still, her origins remain shrouded in mystery, in fact, no one even knows her real name.  Despite this, the vaguely European Facebuilding Lady is a major contributor to the site, not just through her hard work but also in keeping morale up by finding time to contort her face for anyone who asks.

Surfer Bob is a small plastic toy that was added to the staff in July of 2000, when he took part in the Office Playground review.  Since then, the plastic representation of a man catching a wave has remained faithfully glued to his computer monitor.  Literally.  He's attached with adhesive.  Still, he's an inspiration to the lead writer, who sits and absent-mindedly stares at him while trying to think up new ways to turn an non-incident with a squeaky office chair into a 1,900 word comedy tour-de-force.

Surfer Bob's hobbies include surfing and becoming slowly covered with dust.

C.Thomas Howell is, uh, me.  I'm C. Thomas Howell.  Umm... hi.  They, uh, didn't write a bio for me like they did with everyone else, I guess.  Weird.  Maybe they forgot.  So, I guess I gotta write one myself, or something.  Um, anyway, I'm C. Thomas Howell, and I was in this movie, The Outsiders, which starred a bunch of guys, and they all went on to become totally famous.  Like, Tom Cruise.  He was in that, and he hardly did anything.  I think he stuffed cake in his face in one scene, but that's about it.  And he's way famous now!  And my part was way bigger than his!  Can you believe that?  I was Ponyboy, by the way.  In the movie.  Ponyboy is a funny name, heh, I know, but that's how it was in the book and everything.  Anyway, Tom Cruise never calls me or wants to hang out.  Also, I sent him my script for The Outsiders Two: Ponyboy Becomes a Rich Famous Astronaut, but I guess maybe he's still reading it.

Also, Patrick Swayze was in the movie, and he's really famous and stuff now too.  You should see his house, it's huge!  I saw it on a Barbara Walters special one time.

And, Emilio Estevez was in it.  Or his brother.  One of them, anyway.  They're both really famous now, and busy, which is probably why they don't want to hang out on Superbowl Sunday.  Maybe they lost the invitations I sent them.  I made them with Microsoft Greetings 2000, which is a cool program.

Anyway, I've been making movies, still, movies like Lawless: Dead Evidence and Dead Fire and Fatal Affair.  Also, I was in a movie called Hot Boyz.  Man.  I can't believe I was in a movie called Hot Boyz.  Just shoot me in the head, please.

Anyway, I got this job here at Not My Desk, so we'll see.  They kind of ignore me, pretty much, like, they didn't write my bio.  They wrote one for a plastic toy, but not for me.  I had to do it myself.  But I said that already.