Memo Gallery

Halleluiah!! (sent in by Josh)

E-Mail to: All Employees

Corporate America is beginning to come around. Be apprised that Jesus is with Sprint now.

Effective May 20, 2001, we are pleased to announce that Jesus Ramos has accepted the position of District Manager on the development team.

Jesus will lead the Router Structure Development and the testing teams. Jesus brings to this position a vast knowledge base of Network Architecture that will be a great value to our team.

Prior to this assignment, Jesus was the District Operations Manager - SNDNet. We would like to thank Jesus for his significant contributions to the success of the Data Networking Division. Jesus was instrumental in the identification and elimination of network vulnerabilities, establishing a quality based change control process for SNDNET and facilitating the transformation of SNDNet's network Performance.

Please join us in congratulating Jesus on his new assignment.

Clippy is connected.

To: Student#0116

From: Systems Administration Security

Subject: Recent Security Notifications

Dear Student#0116, It has come to our attention that on 06/015/01 at 13:01 you attempted to access Microsoft Word Office Assistant Options. Security has disabled this feature due to the System Polices regarding student access. If however you need assistance or feel this area has been wrongly classified please feel free to report it. You may receive a reply within 30-60 days. We try to create a safe and efficient working service and hope that continue to enjoy our service.

If you have any questions please contact me.

In the words of Nick Carey, who sent this in: "All I wanted to do was to turn that damn paperclip off."

To All Stores:

CURRENT PUPPET SITUATION: I was told not to take reorders for the hand knitted finger puppets from the 80 stores I had worked with before; that we were committed to stocking your store and others with machine made finger puppets from another company. They sell for $6.00 and ours $3.00. Most stores have had success with both, customers collected ours, and your support kept 300 women employed in Peru. We will review carrying the hand knitted finger puppets in the future. Thank you in advance.

Well, I abridged this pretty heavily, but the reason it's in here is because I've never seen the phrase "CURRENT PUPPET SITUATION", and may never see it again.

Re: Daily Mail

With [REGULAR MAIL GUY] gone, there seems to be no consistency in metering mail. Those who do know how to use the meter don't seem to want to be responsible for everyone's mail for whatever reasons. Other people know how to meter letters, but they don't know how to operate all of the functions. As a result, there are several priority pieces of mail that have been sitting in the mailroom since Monday. I have a priority piece that needs to go, but there's no point sending it priority if it's going to sit in the mailroom a week. I am sure that each of us is perfectly willing to learn how to use the mail machine to do our own mail, but if [THE COMPANY] doesn't want everyone using it, then we really need someone designated to meter mail everyday

Sounds to me like somebody isn't perfectly willing to learn how to use the mail machine, hmmm?

If you come across any interesting memos, e-mail them to: memos@notmydesk.com. If at all possible, do not send it as an attachment, just include it in the text of the e-mail. If you do need to send it as an attachment, e-mail me first and I'll let you know what formats I can use. I will change the names of anyone mentioned in the memo, as well as the company name, or anything that could identify either you, a co-worker, or the place you work. If you would like your name or e-mail posted, I would be happy to give you credit, so let me know!

Note: These memos are verbatim, including any typos. They only things I've changed are names and dates.

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