"Are you in school?"
"Are you just trying to earn some extra cash?"
"Are you looking for a real job?"
"Let me know if you have any questions," said by someone who will sit in their office, door closed, on the phone the entire day.
...disgusting desks, sticky with fingerprints and crumbs.
...a computer mouse black with ground-in dirt.
...disgustingly cute greading cards.
...a way to do this job much more efficiently.
...from the moment you walk in, just how ordinary this job is going to be.
...that despite this being a one-day assignment, they will come to rely on you for everything.
...you never greet visitors, never meet clients, never attend meetings... so there is NO GODDAMN REASON you couldn't be wearing jeans right now.
...you could be doing more.
...notice your supervisor's important fax isn't going through. Despite working here for eleven years, she thinks you need to dial "nine" to send a fax out. You resend it, it goes through, she is thanked for sending it so promptly.
...spot the important document jammed in the fax machine. Your supervisor hit the copy button and left. You wrestle the jam clear, finish the copying, make sure all the pages are there. He comes back to collect it, presents it to his boss, and is thanked for getting it done so quickly.
...overhear your supervisor talking to her boss. He wants her to copy a document, send the original to someone, and keep the copy. She later hands you the copy, tells you to send it to someone, and file the original. You don't point out her mistake, you just do what her boss asked, send the original, file the copy.
...save your supervisor's ass in about ten different ways in the same day, all without him knowing. You have made his life easier. You have made his day go smoothly. He signs your timecard, and leaves without saying goodbye.
You are a good temp. For these reasons, and so many more, I salute you.
...your neighbor's personal phone calls, the details of which you share without hesitation.
...that this company is a soft-touch for giving overtime.
...the word "batch", which makes you snicker.
...your boss coming, so you close Napster.
...personal e-mail of the employee you are replacing. Not by accident, either. You head straight for the "sent mail" folder, because it's the best way to snoop without leaving a trace.
...the leftover booze from the holiday party can be put to good use.
...a chance to slack off enough to make this gig last the whole week.
...that extra computer monitor, which will fit nicely into the trunk of your car.
...your way around a firewall.
...how to make it look like you're working when you're not.
...how to sound sick over the phone.
...that by the time they discover your haphazard filing, you will be long gone.
...spend most of your time surfing the internet.
...tack an extra fifteen minutes onto your lunch breaks.
...sneak out early as often as possible.
...liberate office supplies. Liberally.
You are a bad temp. For these reasons, and so many more, I salute you.
"Would you like to help me out with a project?"
By like do you mean I actually have a choice?
By help do you mean do it completely myself?
And, say, could you define "project?"