Of course, that gets boring after a while, so I switched over to being a jackass, seeking victims:

*** Now talking in #xtc

<notmydesk> hi there

<Joel> hello

<foogly> joel how come

<foogly> u didnt reply back when i asked how u were

<notmydesk> he doesn't like you

<foogly> i r sad now

<Joel> because you were addressing "stoner friends"

<foogly> but ur my stoner friend :P

<notmydesk> he doesn't like you a LOT

<notmydesk> perhaps because of your one-letter representations of words

 

*** You were kicked by Joel

Hmph.  Finally, I thought it might be fun to pretend I was a foreigner.  A foreigner... seeking only friends.

Of course, when one pretends one is foreign, others will naturally want to know where one comes from.  Having limited knowledge of other countries, I found a clever way to handle questions regarding my homeland.  See if you can spot my strategy in action!

*** Now talking in #SanJose_Cafe

<notmydesk> hello you all!

<PlagueRat> hello nmd

<notmydesk> I am new in a country! i am looking for seeing news!

<notmydesk> i also am enjoy many times in cafe for coffee!

<PlagueRat> nmd - what country do you originally come from???

<notmydesk> thank you!

<PlagueRat> from what country do you originally come?

<notmydesk> yes, i am!

<notmydesk> so, we see many news together from now on!

<notmydesk> i am seeing for news! am also seeing for temporary work!

<PlagueRat> notmydesk - which country????

<notmydesk> Plaquerat! This country!

<notmydesk> I here am now! For staying and seeing news and seeing work as a temp

<PlagueRat> notmy - your grammar is not that of a native english speaker...

<notmydesk> no, I am seeing california at this present

<notmydesk> and looking as temp for job! temping USA A-OK!

<notmydesk> ha ha! I make funny joke do you see?

<_Natalie_> I dont feel like going to work

<_Natalie_> I dont want too

<notmydesk> if you not wish to work, i can perhaps do job for you for three days! for temporary!

<notmydesk> and then I STEAL job from YOU LAZY AMERICAN!  HA HA HA!

They got wise to me pretty quickly after that.  Hardly surprising.  Still, I thought it might be worth another try elsewhere:

*** Now talking in #newbies

<notmydesk> hello new america!

<Woolstockins> hi notmydesk

<SUpAScaVe> hi notmydesk

<notmydesk> i am new so come in here for seeing talk with you!

<gj350> hi notmydesk

<notmydesk> have only just seeing coming into country! now seeing for new job in USA

<dids> woohoo notmydesk...that's great!

<^clover> where are you from, notmydesk ?

<notmydesk> thank you!!!

<notmydesk> has ever any you been temps before?

<notmydesk> i hear seeing work as a temp is good for big bucks in california! is that true or fat?

<notmydesk> are many temps of you?

<SUpAScaVe> huh?

<Woolstockins> temps for what job?

<notmydesk> please deliver me this information for bath time is near!

<notmydesk> temps for all jobs

<^clover> the pay is better on the west coast, so you should do ok, notmydesk

<notmydesk> i work computer on office and talk into phones to happy america!

<Woolstockins> pay depends on experience. you'd haave to inquire to the jobs you seek

<SUpAScaVe> notmydesk where are u from?

<SUpAScaVe> notmydesk where are u from?

<notmydesk> thank you!

<notmydesk> I am seeing from california at present!

<notmydesk> where from do you see?

<SUpAScaVe> no where did u come from-notmydesk

<notmydesk> from train station not long ago. that is why soon it will be bath time!

<notmydesk> a man passed water on my back

<notmydesk> happily, i would get job for speaking into phones and providing advice

* dids thinks notmydesk is kidding

<notmydesk> i have no kids, no?

<GothGrrrl> that's a double negative...

<SUpAScaVe> notmydesk-what country aer u from?

<notmydesk> thank you!

<SUpAScaVe> notmydesk-what country are u from?

<notmydesk> most nice welcome for new USA

<SUpAScaVe> notmydesk-what country are u from?

<notmydesk> again i thank you? for why to repeat welcome for USA i do not understand

<dids> not mydesk may come from another country...but dids is seeing a bit of a fake

<^clover> hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

So, they're onto me too, right?  Well, then I get this private message:

<SUpAScaVe> DUDE WHERE ARE U FROM???? WHAT COUNTRY

<notmydesk> YES! I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!!!

<SUpAScaVe> fuck off

<SUpAScaVe> loser

<notmydesk> thank you! I will try

Back in the public channel:

<notmydesk> WE are agreed I am new friend?

<SUpAScaVe> no

<Woolstockins> lets not jump to conclusions. there may be as language barrier

<notmydesk> I just told was to fuck off? by SupAScave

*** You were kicked by twocents (Yo notmydesk !! This is a family channel. Go AWAY!!)

Then, in private message again:

<SUpAScaVe> u got kicked out

<notmydesk> yes! it was a kick!

<notmydesk> i got kick out of it! like music!

<SUpAScaVe> yup u said bad word

<notmydesk> i repeat new word you teach me friend!!! thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<SUpAScaVe> fuck off!

<SUpAScaVe> loser

<SUpAScaVe> gay

<notmydesk> thank you!  fuck you off too!

<SUpAScaVe> faggot!

<SUpAScaVe> go to hell

<notmydesk> yes, we shall enjoy dinner together!

Finally, I am allowed back in.

*** Rejoined channel #newbies

<notmydesk> ah! it is work again

<notmydesk> tell me, what is 'faggot'? was told to 'faggot' by SUpAScaVe!

<Woolstockins> notmydesk.. we have a no swearing rule here.. please don't repeat profanities, however rude, in channel please

<notmydesk> Was told to 'faggot'! Also to fuck off and die!

 

*** You were kicked by twocents (Yo notmydesk !! This is a family channel. Go AWAY!!)

 

(banned: twocents Auto-Bad-Word-Kick)