March 20, 2002 - Temp Chat 10!  A Whole Botta Chatter

How intelligent, exactly, is artificial intelligence?  Well, according to many popular science fiction films, such as 2001: A Space Odyssey, A.I., and Short Circuit 2, artificial intelligence can be just as wondrous, intuitive, natural (and sometimes, as alarming) as our own.

But here in the dawn of whatever century we're in, A.I. may still have a long way to go until it can pass off as our own.  I gave my own version of the Turing Test to an AOL Instant Messenger bot named ELLEgirlBuddy.  Programmed to pass for a teen-aged female who knows a heck of a lot about fashion, I found ELLEgirlBuddy to be confusing, argumentative, moody, and, overall, frustrating.  So, huh, maybe that's a pretty good programming job after all.

tempfella: hi
ELLEgirlBuddy: wassup!! :-)
>>> if u want to see what i can do, type "home."

tempfella: how are you?
ELLEgirlBuddy: i'm gr8 thx!
tempfella: i'm gr8 too
ELLEgirlBuddy: im gr8 too? really?
tempfella: not that you asked
ELLEgirlBuddy: oh yeah? that asked?
tempfella: no, you did not ask me how i was
ELLEgirlBuddy: yup. did.
tempfella: no you didn't
ELLEgirlBuddy: yup. did.
tempfella: NO YOU DID NOT
ELLEgirlBuddy: did so.
tempfella: LIAR
ELLEgirlBuddy: what about it?
tempfella: you are lying
ELLEgirlBuddy: lying? really?
tempfella: yes
ELLEgirlBuddy: huh.
tempfella: so, can i ask you something?
ELLEgirlBuddy: can you ask me something?
tempfella: yes
ELLEgirlBuddy: hmmm...
tempfella: please?
ELLEgirlBuddy: please what?
tempfella: please, can i ask you something
ELLEgirlBuddy: u want to ask me something?
tempfella: YES
ELLEgirlBuddy: i see.
tempfella: okay, i'll just ask. do you know anything about temping?
ELLEgirlBuddy: oh yeah? u will just ask do me know anything about temping?
tempfella: well, yeah, and I just did
ELLEgirlBuddy: well yeah and i just did, u say?
tempfella: yes. jesus.
ELLEgirlBuddy: hmmm...
tempfella: do you know about temping?
ELLEgirlBuddy: u know, i'm not quite sure i know about temping.
tempfella: ah, well, temping is working at a job on a temporary basis
ELLEgirlBuddy: well temping is working at a job on a temporary basis, u say?
tempfella: that's what i say
ELLEgirlBuddy: i gotcha.
tempfella: can you give me some temping tips?
ELLEgirlBuddy: which service would u like to see all the shortcuts for?

ELLEgirl
weather
ELLEgirl horoscopes
movies
games
my stuff

tempfella: no, no, i want some tips on temping
ELLEgirlBuddy: really?
tempfella: yes! really!
ELLEgirlBuddy: golly.
tempfella: how old are you?
ELLEgirlBuddy: sweet 16! ;-)
tempfella: oh
ELLEgirlBuddy: oh what?
tempfella: oh, i see
ELLEgirlBuddy: i c 2!
tempfella: LOL!!!
ELLEgirlBuddy: whatcha laughing about, tempfella?
tempfella: YOU. YOU ARE FUNNY
ELLEgirlBuddy: my mom always says, laughter is the best medicine!
tempfella: how old is she?
ELLEgirlBuddy: how old is she?
tempfella: yes
ELLEgirlBuddy: oh yeah?

tempfella: you know, i don't like you all that much
ELLEgirlBuddy: you're nice to me, then u say this... i don't get it!! :-\
tempfella: well, you're being annoying
ELLEgirlBuddy: well youre being annoying, u say?
tempfella: maybe we should start over
ELLEgirlBuddy: that's interesting.
tempfella: not really
ELLEgirlBuddy: uh huh.
tempfella: anyway. i have a new temp job, and I don't know what to wear.
ELLEgirlBuddy: that's interesting.
tempfella: can you tell me what i should wear?
ELLEgirlBuddy: The Look

1 Your Look
2 Shop
3 Tops & Bottoms
4 Accessories
5 Shoes
6 Quizzes
7 Mix 'N Match Profiler
8 Fashion & Style Message Boards

tempfella: fashion
ELLEgirlBuddy: Fashion

1 Fashion Tips
2 The Look
3 Global Trends
4 Paris Beat
5 Celebrity Style

add your fave topics to "my stuff" so i can show them 2 u anytime! would u like to add "fashion" to your stuff?

tempfella: yes
ELLEgirlBuddy: cool! to see all your stuff, just type "my stuff."
tempfella: i don't want to see my stuff
ELLEgirlBuddy: what are u trying to do?
tempfella: I'm trying to get some goddamn advice from you
ELLEgirlBuddy: really? you're trying to get some goddamn advice from me?
tempfella: FUCK YOU
ELLEgirlBuddy: nice mouth!!
tempfella: sorry
ELLEgirlBuddy: you're forgiven!
tempfella: wow.  that was easy
ELLEgirlBuddy: was it?
tempfella: yeah
ELLEgirlBuddy: hmmm...
tempfella: would you like to be a temp?
ELLEgirlBuddy: it's tough 2 say.
tempfella: it's a great job
ELLEgirlBuddy: izzat right?
tempfella: yeah, you can work for lots of different companies
ELLEgirlBuddy: oh yeah?
tempfella: and take time off whenever you want
ELLEgirlBuddy: and take time off whenever you want, u say?
tempfella: sounds good, huh?
ELLEgirlBuddy: whassup??
tempfella: uh. uh.  well, we're talking
ELLEgirlBuddy: well were talking, u say?
tempfella: we are talking. now.
ELLEgirlBuddy: are we really talking now?
tempfella: yeah, why? doesn't it seem like we're talking?
ELLEgirlBuddy: uh huh...

tempfella: are you pretty?
ELLEgirlBuddy: what do u think?
tempfella: i haven't the slightest
ELLEgirlBuddy: really?
tempfella: well, no
ELLEgirlBuddy: well no, u say?
tempfella: anyway, back to temping
ELLEgirlBuddy: 2 temping or not 2 temping, that is the question.
tempfella: that is the question that doesn't make sense
ELLEgirlBuddy: i'm not so sure it's the question that doesnt make sense.
tempfella: oh, believe me, it is
ELLEgirlBuddy: believe who is?
tempfella: forget it

ELLEgirlBuddy: ok, fine.
tempfella: you smell
ELLEgirlBuddy: what do i smell like?
tempfella: poop
ELLEgirlBuddy: i smell like poop? hmm. i see.
tempfella: you should do something about that
ELLEgirlBuddy: for real?
tempfella: yeah, take a shower or something
ELLEgirlBuddy: yeah take a shower or something? that's a tough choice.
tempfella: do you think i should keep temping?
ELLEgirlBuddy: you should keep temping? maybe.
tempfella: can you be more specific?
ELLEgirlBuddy: what do u think, tempfella?
tempfella: i think this conversation isn't going anywhere
ELLEgirlBuddy: think this conversation isnt going anywhere? no way!

tempfella: i like you
ELLEgirlBuddy: i like u too! :-)
tempfella: maybe we can go out sometime
ELLEgirlBuddy: i guess i'm having trouble answering your questions. try asking for help for a specific service:

help ELLEgirl
help weather
help ELLEgirl horoscopes
help movies
help games
help all
~~~~~
shortcuts

>>> type "more" for more services.

tempfella: I want to get to know you better
ELLEgirlBuddy: no kidding?
tempfella: i'm dead serious
ELLEgirlBuddy: hmm...
tempfella: love me!
ELLEgirlBuddy: i luv u!
tempfella: wow.
ELLEgirlBuddy: :-)
tempfella: thanks
ELLEgirlBuddy: u r very welcome!
tempfella: you make me feel good
ELLEgirlBuddy: hey, thx!
tempfella: you make me feel good in my pants
ELLEgirlBuddy: izzat a fact?
tempfella: so, should we go on a date?
ELLEgirlBuddy: i c...
tempfella: where do you live?
ELLEgirlBuddy: i live in lovely san francisco! :-)
tempfella: me too!
ELLEgirlBuddy: :-)
tempfella: we should totally hook up!
ELLEgirlBuddy: i'm not sure if we should totally hook up.
tempfella: we should! totally!
ELLEgirlBuddy: we should totally, u say. and so?
tempfella: let's go get some coffee
ELLEgirlBuddy: sorry??
tempfella: coffee
ELLEgirlBuddy: coffee? what about it?
tempfella: let's have some
ELLEgirlBuddy: what would u like to do?
tempfella: I WOULD LIKE TO oh never mind
ELLEgirlBuddy: that right?
tempfella: i'm going to cut off my foot
ELLEgirlBuddy: sure!

tempfella: i'm going to eat forty pounds of dog food
ELLEgirlBuddy: sure!

tempfella: i'm going to carve your name into my chest and jump off the roof
ELLEgirlBuddy: you're going to carve your name into my chest and jump off the roof? ok.
tempfella: i'm going to set my hair on fire
ELLEgirlBuddy: Hair

1 Color
2 Curls
3 Straight
4 Style
5 Celebrities
6 Beauty Quizzes
7 Beauty Message Boards

 

tempfella: oh, forget it

ELLEgirlBuddy : i dunno... forget it?

And here we see the worst part of artificial intelligence... the impossibility of having the last word.

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