{"id":91,"date":"2010-05-03T07:41:48","date_gmt":"2010-05-03T14:41:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.firstpersonobserver.com\/?p=91"},"modified":"2012-06-12T18:54:20","modified_gmt":"2012-06-13T02:54:20","slug":"adventurer-finds-killing-mole-rats-makes-him-a-better-lockpick","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.screencuisine.net\/firstpersonobserver\/local\/adventurer-finds-killing-mole-rats-makes-him-a-better-lockpick\/","title":{"rendered":"Adventurer Finds Killing Mole Rats Makes Him A Better Lockpick"},"content":{"rendered":"

D.C. Wastelands — <\/strong>A former vault-dweller known only as the Lone Wanderer was both pleased and perplexed to discover that killing mutated mole rats with a baseball bat has somehow made him better at picking locks.<\/p>\n

“It’s like, locks just suddenly made a lot more sense to me,” The Lone Wanderer said, standing over the bloody corpses of several mole rats. “Somehow, beating a bunch of mutated animals to death with a baseball bat gave me insight into the inner workings of the locking mechanisms of doors and safes.”<\/p>\n

“You’d think that using a bat to bludgeon vicious animals would make me stronger, or a better fighter or something,” he continued. “Maybe something related to the physical act of slamming a blunt weapon into a large, rampaging animal.”<\/p>\n

He paused, taking a sip of water from a filthy toilet. “Instead, I’m suddenly finding it easier to pick locks with hairpins. I crushed some skulls with a stick of wood and then just had this sudden jolt of knowledge about how locks work.”<\/p>\n

This is not the first time the adventurer has noticed that his actions and activities lead to enhancements of unrelated abilities.<\/p>\n

“A couple days ago, I was out collecting bottles of Nuka-Cola Quantum for some lady who asked for them, and when I finished, I suddenly had a slightly better sense of how to repair my weapons and armor, and became a bit more adept at sneaking around undetected.”<\/p>\n

As for why he’s finding his skills increasing from performing activities unrelated to those skills, the former vault-dweller doesn’t know, and isn’t sure he wants to know.<\/p>\n

“It’s definitely weird, but a lot of things around here are weird,” he said. “The locks themselves are kinda weird. They all look like doorknobs, even the ones built into ammo boxes. I can’t explain that, either. I won’t even try.”<\/p>\n

“I just hope the afternoon I plan to spend killing feral ghouls with a laser gun in the metro tunnels makes me better at bartering with merchants,” he added. “With all the locks I’m picking lately, I’ve got a lot more loot to sell.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"