{"id":58,"date":"2009-03-04T10:09:16","date_gmt":"2009-03-04T18:09:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.screencuisine.net\/?p=58"},"modified":"2012-06-21T13:05:24","modified_gmt":"2012-06-21T21:05:24","slug":"the-demoman-watchmen-the-end-is-nigh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.screencuisine.net\/screencuisine\/video-games\/the-demoman\/the-demoman-watchmen-the-end-is-nigh\/","title":{"rendered":"Watchmen: The End is Nigh, And There is Punching"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"\/images\/wm1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"173\" \/><\/p>\n<p>The prisoner is in front of me. He has long hair and is wearing a blue jumpsuit.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"\/images\/wm2.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"395\" \/><\/p>\n<p><!--more-->In twelve seconds time, the prisoner falls to the floor at my feet. He&#8217;s already lying there, twelve seconds into the future.<\/p>\n<p>Ten seconds now.<\/p>\n<p>I am punching the prioner in the face repeatedly. I saw him in his cellblock thirty seconds ago. He&#8217;s still there, thirty seconds into the past, in his darkened cell. I&#8217;m still there looking at him.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"\/images\/wm3.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"448\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m punching him in the face. His teeth, more teeth than anyone should ever have in their mouth, fly everywhere. Along with a lot of blood. Seven seconds now.<\/p>\n<p>I am tired of punching the prisoner. He falls to the floor at my feet.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"\/images\/wm4.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"255\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I am going to punch other prisoners in the face. All we ever see of prisoners is their teeth flying out of their mouths.<\/p>\n<p>Two hours into my future I&#8217;m surfing for porn, thinking about boobs. Twelve seconds into my past, I punch the prisoner in the face and he falls.<\/p>\n<p>It is 7:39pm. I&#8217;m sitting at my desk, downloading <a href=\"http:\/\/store.steampowered.com\/app\/21010\/\">Watchmen: The End is Nigh demo<\/a> from Steam. I am thirty-six years old.<\/p>\n<p>It is 7:45pm. I&#8217;m sitting at my desk, playing Watchmen: The End is Nigh demo. I am thirty-six years old.<\/p>\n<p>The prisoner lies at my feet, is punched by my fists, is standing in front of me. I am watching his teeth, admiring their complex trajectories through the air.<\/p>\n<p>I am trying to give a name for the force that set them in motion. Oh yeah. It was my fist, punching him. In the face.<\/p>\n<p>I am playing as Rorschach. His mask looks really cool, the way it changes all the time. The lighting in the demo also looks cool. Everything looks cool. They did a nice job on making things look cool. It almost helps me not think about the fairly cruddy controls and horrible camera. You can also play as Nite Owl, though I choose not to.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"\/images\/wm6.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"397\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Six seconds from now, I am punching another prisoner in the face. Eighteen seconds from now, I am punching another prisoner in the face. Twenty-two seconds from now, I am punching another prisoner in the face. Forty seconds from now, I am punching another prisoner in the face. Forty-six seconds from now, I am punching another prisoner in the face. Fifty-one seconds from now, I am punching another prisoner in the face. Sixty-eight seconds from now, I am punching another prisoner in the face. Seventy seconds from now, I am killing a man in the snow. No, wait, my bad. I&#8217;m punching another prisoner in the face.<\/p>\n<p>Seventy-nine seconds from now, I find a little floating icon that gives me the ability to punch prisoners in the face in a slightly different way.<\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;re all puppets. I&#8217;m just a puppet who can punch a lot of prisoners in the face.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"\/images\/wm7.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"419\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I find another floating icon that lets me do whatever this is. I have no idea what it is, exactly. A squall of tachyon particles, or perhaps whiskey shots, is making it difficult to see further into the future to determine exactly what the hell this is. Some sort of over-the-shoulder reverse butt-lock, perhaps.<\/p>\n<p>Really, it&#8217;s just humiliating for both of us.<\/p>\n<p>This demo can no longer be my concern. I am leaving it for one less repetitive. All the punching of prisoners in the face never seems to end.<\/p>\n<p>But nothing ends. Nothing ever ends.<\/p>\n<div style=\"width: 356px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/images\/wmrating.jpg\" alt=\"Looks neat, not much else besides a lot of punching in the face.\" width=\"346\" height=\"39\" \/><p class=\"wp-caption-text\">Looks neat, not much else besides punching in the face. A lot of punching in the face.<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A demo of Watchmen: The End is Nigh, as played by Dr. Manhattan.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[674],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-58","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-demoman","section-blog","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.screencuisine.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.screencuisine.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.screencuisine.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.screencuisine.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.screencuisine.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=58"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.screencuisine.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.screencuisine.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=58"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.screencuisine.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=58"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.screencuisine.net\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=58"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}